What a long strange trip it's been!
Howdy everyone and welcome little miss Evelena Rose Matthiesen!
Weighin in at six pounds five ounces on her birthday, August 24th, 2008, it's Evy Rose!
The Birth....(feel free to skip, but I know some people get interested in this sort of thing. There will be more posts, but I just have to get this off my chest first and foremost in order to move through this) I understand coming to the blog just for the photos, so feel free to skip ahead!
Saturday, August 23rd, when Jordan and I were out to lunch with my folks after yet another doctor appointment, non-stress test and monitoring, my water broke. So, we finished lunch and did some shopping (yep, shopping!), headed home for showers and mowing of lawns while we waited for labor to start.
After four hours, the hospital called and said for me to get my butt in there as they would like to monitor everything instead of having me labor at home as I had wanted to do until it was truly time for me to head to the hospital.
When I arrived, I was not really dilated past 1cm, so they tried a drug free induction method that places a Foley catheter inside my uterus, blow it up the size of an egg in order to to irritate my cervix and make it dilate. This was about three thirty in the afternoon. It immediately sent me into contractions, and felt like I went from 0--60 in five seconds, no natural ramping up time for my body to catch up. I have to say, I think that method really sucks as it is abrupt and painful and invasive.
I labored all day, through the night and by 8 or 9 am I think, I was finally at a whopping 4cm (so the foley worked...but would my body take over and start doing it on it's own? um, no...) and Evy was not low enough in the canal! I was no where near where they wanted me by that time. They, the doctors, really like a person to not go past a 24 hour window after having their water break to the time they have the baby due to risk of infection. My on-call doctor was willing to go past that a little bit, and I was happy....but this did not stop them from inducing me further with the drug Pitocin at 8am. They amp that one up(level 1 through 12), so that is good to start low and try to get used to it, but by 1pm, I was still only about 3/4 of the way into the dose they wanted me on in the drip and that scared the hell out of me, because I was not progressing past about 6cm. At around 1:30, I finally asked for an epidural as the pain got to be overwhelming. My fear of not progressing was also getting to me, and I feared what amping up the Pitosin would do. I was starting to panic honestly at that thought most. That the contractions would be closer than they currently were, which was every minute to two minutes and become even more painful. My doula said it right when she described it as "drowning."
The contractions became tolerable with the epidural, but the pressure increased. The monitors started concerning the doctors even before this point but became even more concerning because as labor progressed, Evy's heart-rate decreased. She was not handling the contractions well and she was showing signs of distress. I could see her heart-rate change on the monitors, but I really wanted to do this labor and delivery on my own. This is where a birth plan truly becomes a birth wish list, a distant dream of how perfect I could imagine the big event. The doctors were now coming in and talking so fast about getting me prepped for a cesarean and I was still coming to grips with saying that I was willing to do the epidural. All of the reasons why I didn't want an epidural came rushing back to me and I felt guilt and emotional pressure about the decision. I thought I had forced my body to require the c-section because I was induced and because I had the epidural.
I asked the doctors to leave so I could regroup my thoughts with Jordan, my doula Annie and my mom. They all gave such great support I really couldn't have done it without them....The doctors came in and dosed me further in my epidural and rushed me off so that I could have my cesarean and get my daughter safe from harm which was the very place that kept her safe for so long.
The doctors let me have two guests in the delivery room, and Annie and Jordan did a great job supporting me. They are my heros and I really couldn't have surrendered myself to the process without them. When they delivered our little girl at 3:30pm and I could hear her screaming, it was the sound that makes every mom and dad cry. We knew we had done it, that we had gone the distance. It was the most reassuring sound that made me forget any concerns I ever had about the delivery and birth plan.
The doctors said the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice and that mixed with the blood pressure issues were probably the reasons for her stress during labor. All in all, she was healthy, alert and had great coloring and breathing, so Jordan got to carry her back to our room with us and we recovered for about three days.
So, those are the gory details.
Thank you Jordan for your unending support and love and strength. You did great, you helped me and you helped Evy. I can't believe you watched all that you had to see, searched further into the experience for more and came out of it wanting to do it again. I know it was hard to watch and help me make decisions that were not easy, but you showed a lot of character in your support, and in your desire to really be involved with the entire experience. As you said I was your hero, you are mine.
Thank you Mom and Dad for your support and love and strength. I know, deeply I know, that that was the hardest thing you've had to watch me go through, but you both did great just being in the room, or around the corner when you couldn't watch any more. Thank you for realizing that you didn't have to agree with my decisions or even like me, or Jordan or Annie at the times of the decisions. I know you just couldn't walk away either. I know we all learned a lot about ourselves those couple days and all of it was good-so very good. Thank you for the many flowers and balloons for the hospital room, it meant the world to me to know that even when you weren't in the room, your presence was and it cheered us all.
Thank you Annie for doing the job that you were truly meant to do. You are a perfect birth coach for me, providing me with exactly what I needed throughout the pregnancy, labor and delivery. You are amazing and you made me feel amazing. I am so glad that we got to know each other. I found an amazing friendship with you and I look forward to our future.
Thank you Tracy P for coming up as soon as you heard that my water broke. I know our visit was short and that you didn't get to hold her that day because getting Evy took so long and you were over extended, having to get back home to Portland...but your visit, though brief, meant the absolute world to me. I'm so glad that over this past weekend that you got a good visit with miss Evy. I just can't even explain how much support I felt knowing you were there and so excited for us during such a huge event in our lives. I love you and I miss living so close so we can get together more often.
Proud parents, finally coming home!
Pretty baby! Yes, there will be many hats...and many photos...
Annie, you were and are amazing!
Here is how we spend most of our days, Ev attached to me in our Moby wrap.
So there you are, and here we are. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to get all this out to you, but like other events, until I can share them in just the right way for me, I can't really get onto other stuff. So, now that the story is out there, and some pics are posted, and some of you have access to more photos on flicker ( if you want access, just email me) I will be better about posting. Posting this one seemed so big, that I just couldn't do it until I had the right mental space. I think getting out last night for a late night stroll with Jordan and Ev really got me in the right space to get this done.
Thanks for checking in!
Weighin in at six pounds five ounces on her birthday, August 24th, 2008, it's Evy Rose!
The Birth....(feel free to skip, but I know some people get interested in this sort of thing. There will be more posts, but I just have to get this off my chest first and foremost in order to move through this) I understand coming to the blog just for the photos, so feel free to skip ahead!
Saturday, August 23rd, when Jordan and I were out to lunch with my folks after yet another doctor appointment, non-stress test and monitoring, my water broke. So, we finished lunch and did some shopping (yep, shopping!), headed home for showers and mowing of lawns while we waited for labor to start.
After four hours, the hospital called and said for me to get my butt in there as they would like to monitor everything instead of having me labor at home as I had wanted to do until it was truly time for me to head to the hospital.
When I arrived, I was not really dilated past 1cm, so they tried a drug free induction method that places a Foley catheter inside my uterus, blow it up the size of an egg in order to to irritate my cervix and make it dilate. This was about three thirty in the afternoon. It immediately sent me into contractions, and felt like I went from 0--60 in five seconds, no natural ramping up time for my body to catch up. I have to say, I think that method really sucks as it is abrupt and painful and invasive.
I labored all day, through the night and by 8 or 9 am I think, I was finally at a whopping 4cm (so the foley worked...but would my body take over and start doing it on it's own? um, no...) and Evy was not low enough in the canal! I was no where near where they wanted me by that time. They, the doctors, really like a person to not go past a 24 hour window after having their water break to the time they have the baby due to risk of infection. My on-call doctor was willing to go past that a little bit, and I was happy....but this did not stop them from inducing me further with the drug Pitocin at 8am. They amp that one up(level 1 through 12), so that is good to start low and try to get used to it, but by 1pm, I was still only about 3/4 of the way into the dose they wanted me on in the drip and that scared the hell out of me, because I was not progressing past about 6cm. At around 1:30, I finally asked for an epidural as the pain got to be overwhelming. My fear of not progressing was also getting to me, and I feared what amping up the Pitosin would do. I was starting to panic honestly at that thought most. That the contractions would be closer than they currently were, which was every minute to two minutes and become even more painful. My doula said it right when she described it as "drowning."
The contractions became tolerable with the epidural, but the pressure increased. The monitors started concerning the doctors even before this point but became even more concerning because as labor progressed, Evy's heart-rate decreased. She was not handling the contractions well and she was showing signs of distress. I could see her heart-rate change on the monitors, but I really wanted to do this labor and delivery on my own. This is where a birth plan truly becomes a birth wish list, a distant dream of how perfect I could imagine the big event. The doctors were now coming in and talking so fast about getting me prepped for a cesarean and I was still coming to grips with saying that I was willing to do the epidural. All of the reasons why I didn't want an epidural came rushing back to me and I felt guilt and emotional pressure about the decision. I thought I had forced my body to require the c-section because I was induced and because I had the epidural.
I asked the doctors to leave so I could regroup my thoughts with Jordan, my doula Annie and my mom. They all gave such great support I really couldn't have done it without them....The doctors came in and dosed me further in my epidural and rushed me off so that I could have my cesarean and get my daughter safe from harm which was the very place that kept her safe for so long.
The doctors let me have two guests in the delivery room, and Annie and Jordan did a great job supporting me. They are my heros and I really couldn't have surrendered myself to the process without them. When they delivered our little girl at 3:30pm and I could hear her screaming, it was the sound that makes every mom and dad cry. We knew we had done it, that we had gone the distance. It was the most reassuring sound that made me forget any concerns I ever had about the delivery and birth plan.
The doctors said the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice and that mixed with the blood pressure issues were probably the reasons for her stress during labor. All in all, she was healthy, alert and had great coloring and breathing, so Jordan got to carry her back to our room with us and we recovered for about three days.
So, those are the gory details.
Thank you Jordan for your unending support and love and strength. You did great, you helped me and you helped Evy. I can't believe you watched all that you had to see, searched further into the experience for more and came out of it wanting to do it again. I know it was hard to watch and help me make decisions that were not easy, but you showed a lot of character in your support, and in your desire to really be involved with the entire experience. As you said I was your hero, you are mine.
Thank you Mom and Dad for your support and love and strength. I know, deeply I know, that that was the hardest thing you've had to watch me go through, but you both did great just being in the room, or around the corner when you couldn't watch any more. Thank you for realizing that you didn't have to agree with my decisions or even like me, or Jordan or Annie at the times of the decisions. I know you just couldn't walk away either. I know we all learned a lot about ourselves those couple days and all of it was good-so very good. Thank you for the many flowers and balloons for the hospital room, it meant the world to me to know that even when you weren't in the room, your presence was and it cheered us all.
Thank you Annie for doing the job that you were truly meant to do. You are a perfect birth coach for me, providing me with exactly what I needed throughout the pregnancy, labor and delivery. You are amazing and you made me feel amazing. I am so glad that we got to know each other. I found an amazing friendship with you and I look forward to our future.
Thank you Tracy P for coming up as soon as you heard that my water broke. I know our visit was short and that you didn't get to hold her that day because getting Evy took so long and you were over extended, having to get back home to Portland...but your visit, though brief, meant the absolute world to me. I'm so glad that over this past weekend that you got a good visit with miss Evy. I just can't even explain how much support I felt knowing you were there and so excited for us during such a huge event in our lives. I love you and I miss living so close so we can get together more often.
Proud parents, finally coming home!
Pretty baby! Yes, there will be many hats...and many photos...
Annie, you were and are amazing!
Here is how we spend most of our days, Ev attached to me in our Moby wrap.
So there you are, and here we are. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to get all this out to you, but like other events, until I can share them in just the right way for me, I can't really get onto other stuff. So, now that the story is out there, and some pics are posted, and some of you have access to more photos on flicker ( if you want access, just email me) I will be better about posting. Posting this one seemed so big, that I just couldn't do it until I had the right mental space. I think getting out last night for a late night stroll with Jordan and Ev really got me in the right space to get this done.
Thanks for checking in!
posted by Lori Matthiesen at 2:55 PM
3 comments
